Get smart

For some time now, I've been haunted by a seemingly endless barrage of questions. It has dawned on me that, at almost three, I know so little about the world. I felt my entire being (okay, my entire being isn't all that big yet) crushed by a mounting weight of relentless curiosity. What do you do when you simply must have the answers to your questions?

Ask papa!

"Papa, pourquoi?"

"Because Gongo."

"Papa, c'est quoi?"

"It's a banana Gongo."

"Papa, what exactly prevents quantities at the electroweak scale, such as the Higgs boson mass, from getting quantum corrections on the order of the Planck scale? Is the solution supersymmetry, extra dimensions, or just anthropic fine-tuning?"

"Go ask your mother."

I needed another strategy or I would never get answers to my questions.

Another thing that isn't clear to me at this point is whether humans have partial free will or no free will at all. I pretty much ruled out total free will last night when papa told me I couldn't watch yet another Sesame Street podcast. But sometimes, it seems something or someone out there is making things happen just when they need to.

Take Tuesday morning for instance. I woke up a little earlier than usual. Mama and papa seemed excited and brought out a brand new fancy outfit. We then walked Inès to school. But once she abandoned us for the Grande Section, instead of heading back home, they asked me to come inside!

We went up six floors to a classroom. It was filled with all sorts of exciting things. The atmosphere was almost like a carnival (or exoricism). There were very nice ladies, screaming kids, proud parents, screaming kids, desks with games, other desks with puzzles, still more desks with colored pens and paper, screaming kids...

It was my first day at school! Finally, I would have real professionals at my beck and call to answer my now infinite pool of questions!

"Maîtresse, what exactly did Kant mean when he said that space is an a priori form of human intuition?"

"Je n'ai aucune idée mon gars, have a madeleine."

Well it seems I have to start by learning how to write my name. Again, proof that total free will doesn't exist. But since the only argument for predetermination is that there is no argument to prove partial free will, the question itself falls apart. In fact, the one thing I've learned from asking so many questions is that all questions disintegrate when you hold them up to scrutiny. Therefore, there are no answers.

But don't tell my teachers that, I can't wait to drive'em crazy!

Why not witness education in action and check out these snaps: too cool for school