Cashing in

Not long before school let out, mama and papa took off to Sicily. That's not particularly exciting as a standalone concept except that they did the unthinkable. They went without us.

Don't get me wrong, Mimi and Julio took good care of us; but this presented us with a unique opportunity. School was almost out and summer vacation was upon us. It was payback time. Oh yeah baby. Two months of nonstop guilt trips and putty in our hands.

First it was the usual sun and fun on the Ile de Ré. Uncle Francisco joined us for part of it and sometimes he wasn't even on his Blackberry. But the old beach/ice cream/bicycle/crêpe/shopping/spoiled rotten routine gets stale fast and I needed to try something new. It came to me as I sat pushing all the buttons and pulling all the levers in papa's gorgeous soon-to-be-vintage-collector's-dream Volkswagen Jetta. I was almost four and a half and I still didn't know how to drive!

Time to correct that oversight. "Papa, do you remember when you abandoned us for the sun washed mosaics of the Villa Romana del Casale?"


I'm a natural behind the wheel. Gongo said all I was missing was a cell phone glued to my ear. I could feel those insurance companies shudder.


But we're not the shallow types who sit around all day showing off their fancy cars. We're 21st century Parisians, and that means we're in touch with nature, and we are environmentally aware and responsible. Donkeys are one of the more glamorous forms of "green" transport (trendy loser speak) and mama and papa were in no position to say no: "Mama, tell us how you climbed Mt. Etna again..." Before I knew it I was on a first name basis with a donkey named Isolde. Then there was the 173rd ride on the merry-go-round: "Papa, do bald people your age really rent convertibles?"

Back on the mainland we were just getting the hand of this exquisite form of extortion. Nothing could assuage their guilt: "Mama, do you think one day I'll eat pasta a la norma on a terrace overlooking the summer sea? Oh, ice cream, how thoughtful!"; "Papa, is the chocolate in Modica really as good as people say? A new scooter, how did you know?"; "Mama, you look so tanned! Good thing you missed all the rain we had back in Paris! By the way, I'm not sleepy."

Summer sure was fun. We painted, visited throngs of cousins, swam, saw Ata, kissed Ata, exhausted Ata, played piano, consumed vast quantities of sugar, skated, visited even more cousins, stayed up late, woke mama and papa up early, you name it.

Soon school will start. Gongo will follow in my footsteps and destroy the family reputation I've worked on for two long years. It's la rentrée again. Time for puppet shows, ballet, and chinese food. I hope mama and papa go away again sometime soon.